Deeply Wounded

The older I get and the more I observe our society and the world at large, the more I see how deeply wounded we all are by sin. Our country, humanity, and myself, all live in a defensive posture. I mean this in a psychological sense more than militarily. How can we protect ourselves, our interests, our wants and desires from everyone else? This is the line of thinking at the forefront of our dealings with fellow human beings. I see it so clearly in myself. I am defensive with my husband. I guard my time, my things, my wants so much so that I lash out when I fear those things will be taken from me. I get frustrated with my daughter who only wants me, that is all she wants, when I am busy with other less important tasks.

I see it in our international dealings. Our policies for "helping" poorer nations, which require population control measures. We do not want another country to be bigger than us, to threaten our world dominance. We tell them that they can have a condom and then maybe some food. Meanwhile they fight to feed their families hoping that a country as prosperous as our own would be willing to share. I am not talking socialism, I am talking charity. Does it really matter if India or parts of Africa are able to come out of the muck? Are we so concerned with our own sense of power that we can sit by and watch as people die in their own filth on a daily basis?

I see this defensive posture in my daily dealings with people. I see it in driving. I see it in our materialistic consumer driven society. I see the nastiness on social networking sites. A country that has a tiny minority who donate their time and money to charity. After all, thanks to the New Deal and subsequent programs, it is no longer our responsibility to help those in need in my country or overseas. In fact, helping the poor overseas is a sign of weakness. How can we donate to other countries who are a possible threat to our way of life? This is not just atheists. This is my fellow Catholics. We cannot seem to tithe or donate to charity because we need to buy more stuff. We cannot help propagate Christ's message through ministry because our kids need to be in fifteen sports at once.

This nation of ours boasts of being morally, technologically, and intellectually superior to the rest of the world. What a load of garbage! We are the country that has systematically murdered 53 million and counting innocent babies through abortion, we have started wars all over the world that are going nowhere fast, marriage is a sham with skyrocketing divorce and support for gay "marriage" on the rise, we have high violent crime rates, "overpopulation" ideology for our foreign aid, high teen pregnancy and out-of-wedlock births, a massive pornography industry, corrupt government, isolationist policies, and the list goes on. How is it that we can presume to tell others how to live when we ourselves live in the muck, just a different kind? We live in a bubble, we live in a delusion.

I feel like I am waking up from a dream. A propaganda dream of how America is so much more superior. It is like being unplugged from the Matrix. I believe in what our country stood for in the beginning. I believe in her potential. I believe in her opportunities. I do not believe that this country is in any position to preach morality. We have abandoned God. Let's also not live under any preconceived notion that this country has always been tolerant of religions. The Catholic Church underwent major persecution in the 19th Century and before and it is coming again.

I am truly thankful to have been born in this country. It is time, however, for us to wake up. To see the wounded of the world, much of that wound inflicted by ourselves, our foreign policies, and sin. Can I truly walk into nations as religious as Afghanistan and Iraq and say that I have a better solution? What are my solutions: infanticide, pornography, more violence? We are freedom run amok. We are every man for himself. The individual has the right to do whatever they want. The individual sets everything. There is no longer a we. All of humanity is in this thing together. We are all linked and all created in Christ's image. That means that we should not need to compete over everything. We are competing with poor countries who can barely feed themselves. Really? Come on! I now see why Mother Teresa saw our poverty as greater than that of Calcutta.

We as Christians need to look at the wounds in our own homes, families, churches, and communities. When people look at the Church they see hypocrites and believe there is no God. We need to apologize in humility for how we have represented Christ and then we need to get on with the business of being better. We are sinners and people need to know that the only Physician who can save us is Christ. We need to learn and pray to teach each person as Christ. It does not happen over night, but it is what we are called to. That is part of the path to holiness or sainthood.

All of these things that I write are hard for Americans to swallow. Introspection is not one of our strong suits. We are very good at projection and the blame game. We want to pretend that we have it together. That we are better than them, but let's face it, we are just as lost. There is an emptiness in this country that is getting bigger. I see it every time I watch a TV show, movie, or the news. It can only go on for so long before we are swallowed up in the abyss. We must pray and work harder to change this country. We must pray and pray and pray. God can fix all things, if we let Him. I am rambling at this point. I just have so much on my mind and in my heart right now. I'll stop here for now. God bless our country, the world, and give us the grace to follow you Lord.