Confession is one of those Sacraments that seems to create a love or hate reaction in Catholics these days. In some ways, many Catholics have gone the way of our Protestant brothers and sisters and have all together abandoned Confession. I think in part this is a misunderstanding of the Sacrament, in some places it is a lack of availability, and a confusion as to what the Church asks in regard to Confession.
These days confessing is a major part of our daily lives. We have Facebook accounts, Twitter accounts, blogs, email, and the list goes on. We tell people about our daily lives, rant about politics, religion, our jobs, relationships, and anything that comes to mind. We pay for therapists to talk about our life struggles and, for many, they work through severe mental illness. We need to tell someone about our pain and our problems. We become overburdened, exhausted, unsure, and confused. We need someone to tell us that is is okay. We just tend to pick the wrong somebody to fully rely on. We should be relying on God.
God knows that we need to confess. He knows that we hide in shame, lash out in anger, loathe in self-pity, become overwhelmed, and overburdened. He knows what sin has done to us and continues to do to every human being that has been, is currently living, or will ever be. When Christ left the disciples the Sacrament of Confession it was because he knew, as the Divine Physician, that we would need healing and peace.
So, why then do we have to go to a priest? First, Christ appointed the Apostles as the first priests and gave them the power to forgive sins (John 20:23). Second, it is not the priest in his person who administers the absolution. Rather, it is Christ through the priest who gives absolution. The priest is not forgiving you as Fr. Joe, rather it is Christ present in the Sacrament. Think about the Eucharist. Does Fr. Joe turn bread and wine into the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Our Lord or is it Christ? The priest does the physical motions, but it is Christ who becomes physically present in the Eucharist.
Okay, so maybe you don't buy the theological argument at this point. That's fine. Pray about it. Pray that God shows you the truth of the Sacrament of Confession. Think about it this way. Human beings feel the need to confess, as is apparent through our choices with technology, but why? Unfortunately, sometimes it is so we can hear what we want to hear, which is can be a bad thing. At other times, it is for support, healing, and strength. Other people let us know that we are not alone. How alone do you feel when you are burdened by your sins, venial or mortal? I personally feel pretty alone and far away from God. Going to Confession provides two very human elements, a reminder that we are not alone in your struggle with sin and two, the knowledge that our loving and merciful God forgives us and absolves us no matter what sin we commit. Let me say that again, no matter what sin we commit.
The Church asks that we go to Confession once a year during either Lent or Advent at a bare minimum. That is the minimum requirement. Most popes, including Blessed JPII and Pope Benedict XVI, attend weekly Confession. If the Pope feels the need to go weekly, where does that put you and me? How about his, how do you feel when stressors pile up in your life? Your workload piles up, your home life is chaotic, and you have a lot of extracurricular responsibilities through Church, sports, or other activities. You feel burdened, heavy, and distracted. What about when your sins pile up? They start out small, but then those sins that are deeply imbedded or habitual come out, and then you start to sin more, after a while small sins are not a big deal, so why not check out the mortal sins. It continues to build, and as our sin builds, we distance ourselves from God. We need frequent cleansing.
Marriage is one of those situations that shows us our truly ingrained and deepest sins. We are no longer on our own. We can't hide by ourselves. Everything we do impacts our spouse. When I am cranky and impatient with my husband it hurts him and that sin hurts me. After a while my impatience turns to anger and I sin more against my husband. I need those sins to be cleansed. I need Our Lord to tell me that I am clean as snow and forgiven for my sins. Will I sin again? Yes, but the more I confess the more I am aware of my sins and by God's grace, the less I commit that sin.
My husband and I have been married just under two years. We are still in the figuring this vocation out phase and will be until death. We are two completely different people, from different backgrounds, we have different habits, and we both sin. The more we sin, the farther we become from one another and God. We learned very early on in our marriage that we need Confession. Christ is supposed to be the center of our marriage. We are still learning this fact. I am not going to pretend that we have it all figured out. We are new to all of this, but I can tell you that Confession is changing our marriage for the better. God's grace always steps in where we are lacking.
Both of us agree that every two weeks is what we need at a minimum and weekly if possible. That does not always happen, but it is what we work toward. It gives us time to sit in the Sanctuary in the presence of Christ together in quiet (when our daughter is not squirming) and to contemplate how we can improve our marriage and ourselves. I highly recommend adding Confession to your regular routine. Maybe every two weeks is not what you think you need and you want to try once a month or every other month. It is a start. Once Christ gets ahold of you in this Sacrament, you will find yourself wanting to go more and more.
A note on Confessing your actual sins. It does not matter how long it has been since your last Confession. Maybe you don't remember the protocol. That is okay. The priest will guide you through it. Perhaps you have some embarrassing sins. There is nothing new under the sun and the priest has heard it all. And as our priest puts it, he doesn't remember any of your sins. His mind is erased as he walks out of the confessional. Pride can get in the way of our need for God that is why it is really the deadliest of the deadly sins. It keeps us from the healing hand of Our Savior. You are there to confess your sins to Christ, not the priest. The priest is not there to judge you, he is there to stand in the place of Christ.
I highly recommend Confession. If you only go once a year, try adding a few more in. If you go monthly, try bi-weekly, and if you don't go at all, give it a try. Confession brings us out of our apathy, our dysfunction, and frees us from sin, to reconcile us to God and to make us ready to receive the Eucharist. We really should examine ourselves before each and every Eucharist and ask ourselves should I be receiving the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Our Lord now or do I need to go to Confession. God gave us the Sacraments because He knew we would need them. His grace is abundant in each one.
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