Quiet Evenings

My husband and I are trying to get our nearly one year-old on a schedule after months of traveling. We are also trying to move her from our bed to her crib. I originally was against co-sleeping. That was until reality met up with my ideas on parenting, as happens so often. Shear exhaustion led me to start nursing her in bed during the middle of the night and once she out grew her bassinet she moved to a pack n play, that was until teething started back in March. She wanted to snuggle and nurse all of the time and so began her habit of sleeping in our bed. Lots of hotel rooms and spare bedrooms over the last four months did not help either. Being a stay-at-home mom, I get the blessing of traveling with my husband on some of his business trips.

Now that all of the big trips are over with we want to get her in her crib. Along with moving her to her crib, I am making a very poor attempt to get her to stop her long nursing sessions at night. Quite frankly, they are killing my body and leaving me beyond exhausted. I am very thankful that I am one of those women who loves to nurse. Don't get me wrong, I cried a good way through the first month, as she learned and I learned how it is done, thrush and all. I know not all women feel this way, and that is perfectly fine. It has been a great bonding experience for me and I have no doubt holding your child with a bottle is a wonderful bonding experience too. I get rather annoyed by how nasty mothers can be to one another in the breastfeeding versus bottle debate. I prefer breastfeeding, but must say, I don't enjoy the hormone flux. You have to do what is best for your family. Anyway, I would prefer she self-wean, but I just would like the midnight nursing sessions to cease. My husband and I need sleep.

Enter in our plan of sorts to get her moved. Ha! The more I parent, the more I realize what little control I actually have over situations. We are starting an evening routine of bath time, attempted storytime, a little cereal, and rocking to sleep. We have tried to give her a bottle in the evening, but when it is time to sleep it is nursing time in her mind. She will scream at me until she gets to nurse. I wonder where all of that stubbornness comes from?! I have given up on a bottle at bedtime, so I rock her to sleep and nurse her. Once she is asleep, I put her in her crib, and turn on some music. It's not going exactly as I would like, but it is actually going better than expected. She made it six hours in the crib two nights ago and three hours last night. She has six teeth coming in, so she was really restless last night. I have even gotten her to nap in the crib twice. This truly is an amazing feat and I will take it.

I personally am really starting to enjoy our little routine. Not only does it get her ready for bed, it gives me time to quiet myself from a long day, and prepare for stillness and sleep. My favorite times of day are the hour around sunrise and the hour before sunset. It is a time of peace and quiet. The day is beginning anew or ending. Last night I sat in the rocking chair holding my sleeping daughter as sunset began. I had a tremendous feeling of gratitude and peace, which can be a major struggle for me these days. I thanked God that he made me a mother and realized what a tremendous gift it is, whether I have this one beautiful baby girl, or I am gifted with others here on earth. I am the mother of three, but I have been blessed with getting to rock Michaela to sleep, while my other two see the face of God and are held in Mary's embrace. I wondered how Mary felt holding Our Lord in her arms when he was a baby? Did she sing to him? Did she smile at him? Did she thank God for being given to gift of birthing the Messiah? I am sure in the dusk of evening she too expressed her gratitude for the blessings of Motherhood.